Self care is very important. It’s way more than a buzzword. You have to keep your emotional and mental bucket full so that you can pour it out for your kids, your spouse or other people you love. In the body, the heart pumps blood to itself first – why? If it doesn’t, it can’t pump blood to the rest of the body. Get it?
Self care can be as simple as a pedicure, but that is just one small thing we can do for ourselves. What else makes your heart full? What else can you do to perhaps remove some emotional weight you carry around? How can you make your load lighter?
Here are some tips for self care that have long term benefits:
- Listen to your body – If you eat something that makes you feel bad, don’t eat that thing anymore. If you’re forever tired, get more sleep. Take a vitamin every day. Eat foods you know are good for you. Move in whatever way doesn’t feel like work so you can avoid it being a negative experience. If it’s not so easy to take more time for sleep, work out a deal with your partner or kids to get a little more time for it. Make self care a priority and figure out how to accomplish what you need.
- Unload the baggage – Whatever emotional baggage you are carrying around needs to be offloaded. If you owe someone an apology, say you’re sorry. If someone owes you an apology but never will, forgive them anyway so you can let it go. If you have bigger issues you need help working through, get that help and work through it.
- Make yourself a priority – At the end of the day ask yourself if you have let anyone or anything cross your boundaries. If so, how does that make you feel? Have you established boundaries for yourself or are you endlessly bombarded by other people’s intrusions? Figure it out, and if you can’t do that on your own, get help to figure it out. Then, set those boundaries and hold them in a positive way. Learn to say no, and that it doesn’t mean you are a horrible person, employee, parent, spouse, child.
- Make deals with yourself – To some people, cleaning a bathroom is the ultimate therapy. To others, it’s their worst nightmare. Whatever you have to do in life that you hate, make a deal with yourself. Scrub that toilet then give yourself a reward – 30 minutes with the book you are reading or an episode of your favorite show on Netflix. Life isn’t all about misery and keeping a stiff upper lip, we have to do things we hate, but we can also be kind to ourselves.
- Let go of perfection – what we see in other people is their best version of themselves. Social media has made us all painfully aware that we aren’t perfect physically, our marriage isn’t perfect, our parenting isn’t perfect, our homes aren’t perfect. But here’s the truth, there is no perfect life or family. What goes on when the cameras are turned off on an influencer’s life is never seen – the laundry piling up in the next room, the search for the perfect filter to snatch that waist, the child’s tantrum. Let go of perfection and embrace the good enough.
You may think the mentality of self care is selfish. That’s wrong. If you’re a parent what better lessons could you teach a child but to be a good person who says they’re sorry, who has healthy boundaries, who resolves issues, and who finds pleasure in life?
I wouldn’t think any parent would want to set their child up for misery by modeling an attitude that life is something miserable to be endured. You can do this, and if you need help, call us. Cornerstone is here for you, and knows, you matter.